So, I wasn't nearly as proactive with this blog as I was with my French one, but I guess this will be the end of this adventure. I'm back in Indiana, surrounded by college life and Indiana landscape. It's currently snowing and it reminds me of when I stepped out of my classroom in France and I saw people using their umbrellas to keep the "white rain" off of their heads... I bet if I did that here, so many people would laugh and wonder why I was doing such a thing. It makes me miss Europe. I saw people use their umbrellas in snowstorms in the UK as well. When you think about it, it's actually quite practical. I mean, why put up with snow blowing in your face when you can use an umbrella to block the flakes from flying into your eyes? I guess the rational behind using umbrellas during a snowstorm isn't quite as silly to me anymore.
I knew that being back in the US would be quite an adjustment, I just didn't understand how much of an adjustment. Not only are you walking around a college campus all the time and running into the same people who speak your language, but you are in a constant routine of going to class, doing homework, pretending you're doing homework, going to the DC, hanging out with friends, etc. I can no longer get "lost" in the city of Tours or London and watch other cultures interact. I miss having to pay extra to be able to sit down to drink my coffee, as weird as that sounds. I miss walking by patisseries and smelling the freshly baked breads and pastries. I miss needing to watch where I step so I don't step in dog poo. Weird, huh? It feels silly being back on a college campus. It felt like I was done with college last spring, yet I'm back again, trying to fit into the same mold as last year. It's impossible. People move on and change. I've changed. It's a bittersweet thing to realize that I will never fit the same way with certain people again. Don't get me wrong- growing up and preparing for the real world is a beautiful and necessary thing... It's just that it moves faster than I'd like sometimes.
I feel like I'm caught in a twilight zone of sorts... I don't really know where I am and I don't know what's normal to feel. I don't know how to act around people I used to know really well and I even want to disappear sometimes. I feel like a freshman all over yet I'm so over this college-thing. I'm hoping those feelings will change once I really start processing and realizing which part of my life I'm in. This is the part where you can't rush time... time will rush you.
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